So, you've been planning a night with your friends for weeks, and you couldn't be more excited about it.
You'll get all spruced up, eat a light dinner, then it's off to the local bar or club for some good-old-fashioned clean fun.
You'll catch up on the latest news and discuss last week's episode of Survivor; it's the perfect way to relax and kick back, without worrying about work or problems at home. Right?
Wrong! Then, disaster strikes... Your partner doesn't want you to go out with your friends; instead, they want you to stay at home where they can keep an eye on you… Just to be sure you aren't flirting with anyone else.
You're furious, but you call your friends to cancel because you don't want to make your mate mad.
"...healthy relationship includes a foundation of trust and devotion."
-- Eric G. Schneider, D. Min.
What's wrong with this picture?
Whether or not you're in a committed relationship, we all need to be free to see our friends and go out alone every once in a while. Relationships don't mean that you're attached at the hip, and a healthy relationship includes a foundation of trust and devotion.
This scenario above is a classic case of a possessive relationship.
Most people attach the phenomenon of the possessive relationship to a man's inability to cope with a woman's life outside of the relationship, but this isn't always the case.
Women can be just as controlling as men, and it isn't healthy for either partner. Relationships are meant to bring two people together, but not to shackle one to the other.
If the above scenario sounds like your typical Friday (or Saturday or any day) night dilemma, then it might be time to call it quits. You don't need a second mother or father, and you certainly don't need to be made to feel like a child.
You have to understand that you're worth much more, and that you have earned the trust of your partner. Unless you have done something to breach that trust, your significant other has absolutely no right to tell you when and where you will see your friends - that's your prerogative!
Too many people remain in possessive relationships because they don't understand that what their partner is doing is wrong. Or, perhaps they know it is wrong, but they want so badly to please that other person so much that they are willing to look past this obvious breach of trust.
Whatever the case, you have to know deep within your heart that you can find a better relationship, and that your personal life should be just that -- your personal life.
If you have fallen into a possessive relationship, talk with your partner and air your concerns. If he or she truly cares about you, then an effort will be made to curb their jealousy.
If not, it may be time to call it quits.